June 17, 2021
Hi everybody, and thank you for joining me on another blog (podcast forthcoming). Today's subject matter will not be taken lightly, for believers or unbelievers. Believers will feel the Glory of God, (certainly not to be taken lightly), and unbelievers will see it as a religious delusion. Now, I am a Journalism major who also studied Music Therapy. I just love to do research about Bipolar Disorder, which I've lived with my entire adult life. So be assured, I have evidence to the contrary, scientific evidence, not that I need it, and God most certainly doesn't. Intrigued? Read on.
I spoke of this experience in my book, "Grateful: Faith, Healing and the Gift of Music," and also recently gave my testimony to a brilliant Christian platform
www.ThenGodMoved.com. I spoke of a supernatural experience. So let's start with that. Can I just cut to the chase? We serve a living God, with a capital G. Our God is not dead. No, Jesus lives. So while we live in the natural world, understand that this means there is also a supernatural world, and God invites us to walk in it with Him. He lives in us. Have I lost anyone yet? Ok, so let's get to it.
While just out of inpatient treatment for the second time in six months, for extreme mania, I was defeated in every way. I had been awake and paranoid for four full days. That's right, 96 hours straight. So yeah, I'd say I was a mess. The pharmaceutical therapy they gave me helped a little. I began to sleep on and off, but I was still filled with fear and paranoia, and I was at the lowest point in my life. I had to leave my job to go into treatment, I had no idea how I would pay my rent with no job and no ability to work, and my health was not looking like it would improve any time soon.
I layed on my bed, curled up in a ball, and sobbed as I drifted in and out of sleep. That's when I heard it. I was so startled, I literally jumped up when I heard the words, "Tell Them About Me."
I did what any resident of the natural world would do. I feared and doubted, though it was in my spiritual purvu to believe. Raised a Christian, I was no stranger to the prophetic nature of the Bible, and the true stories of Abraham and Moses among others, who heard the Voice of God. Still, I doubted it was real. I feared no one would ever believe me considering the state that I was in. Deep down however, I knew I had just received a Divine Visit. I had certainly been calling on Him enough. But does God still roll this way? I wondered. Was I really chosen to tell people about the Glory of God, that I just witnessed up close and personal. Me, someone who's disease caused her to stray from Jesus for years believing He wasn't listening? I begged Him to heal me, but I still lived my entire adult life with Bipolar Disorder, which was now kicking me hard.
So I didn't tell anyone for years. Then, as I began to write my book again in the summer of 2017, I began to reflect on what God really wanted from me. "Tell them about Me." Those are words He would use, if you know anything about Biblical History.
I came to the conclusion many years later that not only had I experienced a miracle, but also foreshadowing. This was a bit of a head's up to the miracles God was about to work in my life, but it took time. I suffered for a long time after this religious experience, an experience that was a beautiful mystery, but most definitely not a myth.
My life and my health did not just suddenly and miraculously heal and return me to a happy existence. No, that's definitely not the way God rolls. We all know He can change our lives, and the entire universe for that matter, with the crook of His little finger. But where would the lessons be in that? God wants us to learn, and live His Word so that we can do just what I'm doing....testify to His Glory, Grace and Mercy.
God did heal me. I shudder to think of where I was for years, mentally, emotionally and most especially, Spiritually. If you knew everything that He brought me through, you'd have no reason to disbelieve the strength, power and honesty behind my testimony.
Just look at what God has done for me. He took me, an unemployed, unknown singer losing the battle with Bipolar Disorder, and transformed me into a thriving college professor, Christian author and songwriter...three things for which I never asked Him to do. This is proof God will give so much more than we ask for when we trust Him. Then, He bless my first dream, because He is just that good! My music reached national platforms, something that would have never happened had I stayed in LA. My happiness today is proof that the best laid plans in life, are God's.
For years I was afraid to tell my story. For years I cared more about what my peers thought of me, than what my God thought of me; my Savior, my Healer, my Provider. Don't get me wrong, I fall short of His Glory everyday, but He still chooses me. As I said in my book, I am saved daily, because surrender and redemption are not one time events in our lives.
Glory to God!
© 2021 Maria Eva Jacobs iwarble music, LLC
Wonderful Maria.